• "My last piece of advice to the degenerate slot player who thinks he can beat the one-armed bandit consists of four little words: "It can't be done."
  
  -John Scarne

• "When a gambler picks up a pack of cards or a pair of dice, he feels as though he has reduced an unmanageable world to a finite, visible and comprehensive size."
  
  -Annabel Davis-Goff, The Literary Companion to Gambling

• "If you ain't just a little scared when you enter a casino, you are either very rich or you haven't studied the games enough."
  
  VP Pappy

• "Even as I approach the gambling hall, as soon as I hear, two rooms away, the jingle of money poured out on the table, I almost go into convulsions."
  
  -Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Gambler (1867)

• "A number of moralists condemn lotteries and refuse to see anything noble in the passion of the ordinary gambler. They judge gambling as some atheists judge religion, by its excesses."
  
  -Charles Lamb, Essays of Elia (1832)

• "Guessing has never been widely acclaimed as a good gambling strategy."
  
  -Dr. G

• "No wife can endure a gambling husband unless he is a steady winner."
  
  -Lord Dewar

• Something to moan out between grinding teeth after this political season. "Didn't I warn you-Huh-Didn't I tell you one of 'em was going to win!?? So now, what do we do?"
  
  -Jack Norris

• "Italians come to ruin most generally in three ways, women, gambling, and farming. My family chose the slowest one."
  
  -Pope John XXIII

• "With the perverse logic of a degenerate gambler he figured God was testing his faith."
  
  -Mario Puzo, Inside Las Vegas

No Eggheads Allowed