Guerrilla
Gambling 101
Dear Mark,
Casinos must make loads of money off constant losers like
myself. Anything I can do to stop the flow of money always
going in one direction? Sandra R.
But do you have a smile on your face when you lose, Sandra?
I ask that because Bob Stupak, a major casino operator in
Las Vegas, was quoted in U.S. News and World Report saying;
"It's our duty to extract as much money from the customer
as we can and send them home with a smile on their face."
Believe me, Sandra, casinos are a green felt jungle and
you're playing war.
But that doesn't mean the casinos win every battle. You
can fight back by becoming a Guerrilla Gambler. How? By
only making bets that have a 2% house advantage or less.
When you do, you'll stand a good chance of turning the tables
in your favor, staying in action longer, having fun and,
yes, stopping the flow of your hard-earned cash going to
the opposite forces (casino corporate headquarters).
Here are some of my favorite guerrilla warfare wagers. All
have less than a 2% house advantage and can be found in
most casinos coast to coast.
Blackjack:
A game that many play, but few play well. Solution: Playing
perfect basic strategy. Perfect basic strategy will bring
the house advantage down to well under 1%.
Craps:
Want three outstanding craps wagers? The pass and come line
bets, preceding wagers with odds, and placing the 6 or 8.
All have a house advantage of 1.5% or lower. Stay away from
those proposition bets (hardways, field bets, one number
rolls, etc.) entirely. Some can have a house advantage as
high as 16%.
Baccarat:
Baccarat definitely evokes images of Monte Carlo and
James Bond, but don't let the mystique of the game intimidate
you. It's one of the easiest casino games to play (you don't
even have to know the rules because correct hitting is predetermined),
and the stakes are relatively low when you play on a mini-baccarat
table. The house advantage is either 1.17% when betting
the bank hand or 1.36% with a player hand wager. Skip the
tie bet: House advantage 14%.
Video
Poker: There is no such thing as a bad video poker machine,
only bad pay tables. Here's another opportunity where playing
perfect basic strategy on a machine with a decent pay schedule
can reduce the house advantage to well under 1%.
Slots:
Yes, you're reading it right, SLOTS. But only "liberal"
slot machines. What I mean by liberal slots are those in
casinos that advertise a higher payback percentage-like
a 98.5% return-on selected machines. Be forewarned, these
high payback slots are usually only found where casino competition
is fierce; plus when you do find a casino advertising liberal
paybacks, you'll then need to ask someone in slot personnel
which machines those are. Yes there is some skill involved
besides pulling a handle when playing slots-it's machine
selection.
As you can see, Sandra, all through the casino you'll find
decent wagers. Some, like blackjack or video poker, involve
skill, while with others, it's placing the correct bet in
the right place on the layout. But identifying the guerrilla
wagers was just step one, Sandra. Next you must acquire
a good solid education for your favorite game. Then you're
truly on your way to becoming a Guerrilla Gambler.
Now repeat this phrase after me: "The smarter I play,
the luckier I'll be."
Dear
Mark,
In past columns you have stated "unequivocally"
to avoid long-shot keno tickets. How about the simple three-spot
ticket? Kay B.
There is only one bigger waste of money than playing any
keno ticket, Kay. That's playing two!
|
No
Eggheads 
Allowed