Bring
your kids-sort of
Dear Mark,
I wish I had read a past column you wrote called Split Decision
before I made a recent trip with my family to Las Vegas.
I was appalled at the amount of handbills advertising sex
being pushed down my throat on the Strip right in front
of the MGM Grand. Who in their right mind would bring a
family to Las Vegas? Clifford M.
As a result of continual complaints from tourists like you,
Clifford, the Clark County Commission recently approved
a ban on the passing out of handbills in Las Vegas. The
ban is targeted primarily at the aggressive peddlers (smutters)
on the Las Vegas Strip who force-feed fliers, most of which
contain sexually explicit ads for call girl services, on
unwilling tourists as they stroll by. The ban also affects
businesses that hand out ads in front of their stores along
the strip.
Those
needing their carnal obsessions attended to in Sin City
will still find arousal circulars at newspaper stands-which
are exempt, as are non-commercial enterprises.
By
the way, Clifford, since when is Las Vegas for those in
their right mind?
Dear Mark,
My boyfriend and I are planning an upcoming gambling trip
to Las Vegas. I want to prove to my fiancee that I know
a little more about chance than he thinks. Is there any
even money bet in Nevada? Sandra R.
Oh
yeah, Sandra. Drive over to one of the 34 wedding chapels
in Vegas and get married. Marriage today is statistically
a fifty/fifty proposition that you'll end up divorced. And
if you divorce rich-jackpot. There's your even money bet.
Dear
Mark,
Before going to the casino I run practice hands on the kitchen
table. The problem with this method is that play in a casino
on both video poker machines and blackjack is much faster.
Any suggestions? Tammy D.
The
best way to acquire gaming skills without the expense of
a live game is with a computer. In many ways a computer
can be far superior to a human instructor for both training
and drilling. The benefit of computer training is the ability
to test card counting strategies along with money-management
progressive win formulas at no financial risk, even with
simulated high speed play. Whether at high speeds or a live
game pace, computers accumulate data for later review. This
will enable you to spot costly trends that you might be
making on a video poker machine or blackjack table. Information
like this would take you years to accumulate dealing hand
after hand on your kitchen table.
And
again, the key here is that any knowledge obtained without
a casino outlay will make you more money down the road.
Many
of the better gaming software programs are either free or
shareware, making it very inexpensive, easy to use, and
yes, definitely fun. These software programs can be downloaded
from any of the major online services on the internet.
If
you don't have a computer, you can still create a Las Vegas
experience with a handheld video game. I've seen these small
hand-held computer games at Wal Mart's as inexpensively
as $5. I prefer the games made by a company called Radica.
The screen is easy to read and the batteries last, well,
I've never changed them yet. Along with a basic strategy
card, you'll sharpen your playing skills and be an expert
in no time.
Dear
Mark,
Per your advice, my sister and I on our monthly trips to
Las Vegas always discuss the games we will be playing and
the correct bets to make on those games. When my sister
hits the front door though, she gambles on a whim and becomes
her own worst enemy. Is my sister different from most who
gamble? Sally O.
Take
counsel, Sally, most gamblers devise a cleaver scheme to
keep the casinos at bay, but like Penelope, wife of Odysseus,
they spend all day weaving a tapestry of words and all night
unraveling it.
|
No
Eggheads 
Allowed